Fullest MOON Mad Rose
New Years Resolutions
Everyone has them, we try our best to commit to the things we say about the changes we will make over the new year. Do we really try? Or its just something to say to kick off the new year? Whatever our reasons for making new changes, we try to better ourselves through out the year in little ways we can. I was inspired by Ravie, cause normally I don’t even keep up with NY resolutions at all. Its small list that I may or may not add to before the year is out, but here goes….
- Art/Crafting: I would like to continue to with my studies in art soon. Photography is my biggest passion, always has and will be my favourite medium to capture events as they happen, forever to stand in time. I love crafting just as much as photography. As of late , I have not been inspired to do anything because of work/school/other things, that I just have not the time to sit and piece something nice together. I use to, but now its like “why bother?”. Next year I will be in a new home, new surroundings again that I will be able to craft and continue my art studies again.
- Reading: What can I say, I’m bookworm. All this year I have not really read anything worth of interest. I would like to get back into reading more next year to help expand my ideas, projects and inspirations.
- Traveling: I would like to start traveling more in the near future. With me moving to Europe next year, there are a lot of places I would like to see instead of reading about them in a book, television, or movies . Next year I would like to go to Germany for Wave-Gotik-Treffen. It would be the first real event I went to in years.
- Studies: Next year in September I will continue my studies in Eindhoven after years of going to school off and on, I will be able to finish my first major somewhere else.
- Language learning: My biggest challenge since forever. Learning Japanese, Dutch, Korean, German, & Chinese. Two of these languages are a part of my heritage and the rest are for learning and translating. Dutch is fairly new since this will be the main language I will be speaking when I move. As all my Dutch friends say, its ok most people speak English, but when it comes to meeting people who don’t I know, that’s where it will count the most. I’m fairly good at Dutch when it comes to reading, but my speaking & writing are a little horrible still. Once I move I will take class over there and continue where I left off.
I don’t think I have anymore for now, but these are my true main goals for next year. What are your goals? Plans? Dreams?
Winter wonderland blues…
Yeah…we all get them at this time of the year. How we all wished to be somewhere nice and warm without the things associated with snow. Of course it looks nice at first when it falls to the ground and few days later it looks like total crap with all the dirt and other things in it. Kind of makes you wonder why we have to get all the snow? This time of the year is for closure and new beginnings for me. Over all of this year was both good and sad. I lost my mother to her fight with cancer, I lost a uncle a few days ago, got the chance to travel twice this year, visit family and friends before my final move in February. My Dutch is getting better, I met new friends and lost a few, went to two awesome concerts this year, going back to school in the Netherlands, slowly working on my art, photography and crafting again. I started writing poetry again and writing more. I plan to blog more as a way to mark down all my adventures. Basically I turned my life back around and put what was important to me in life.
Its been a long hard year but it will finally pay off next year. I will be back in the Netherlands again to start a new chapter of my life become the artist I always wanted to be and live out my dreams the way I planed. As I look back at all the moments and memories of this year. I realize it hasn’t been a bad year at all, however it did go by fast. I will be working on my site more next year. Its 70% done I still need to upload the gallery in my domain or find one and add on from there.
Christmas is coming, first one with out my mother and yet a sad one. Its hard to believe she gone and yet it is still so fresh in my mind the day she past away. I was so depress and devastated because I lost a best friend, my inspiring angel, my teacher in my life. She gave me life lessons and stories to help me be the person I am today. For that I will ever be thankful for the person she was, a simply caring mother. The more I think about it, I really didn’t lose her at all. She is always with me where ever I go. However like a child, I wish I could at least see her once more for holidays.
I wrote a poem for her, and read it at her funeral, that describes my thankfulness to her not so many words how glad I was to be her child. Its entitled “Mother”.
Mother
There are no words of how I can express
my thanks to you for the many years you gave
me the guidance and wisdom that lead me along the way.
I could not be the person I am today without you.
Thank you for holding my hand until I could walk.
Thank you for giving me the voice so I could speak.
Thank you for giving me the wisdom and knowledge so I
could think.
Thank you for being my best friend when I had no one else to turn to.
Thank you for giving me the courage to move on when I could not.
Thank you for listening to my dreams and goals when no one else would.
Thank you for your compassion & your trust.
Thank you for being there when others would not.
Thank you for being the person you were not only to me but to the many
people’s life you have touched.
But most importantly of them all, the heart to show the love you
gave to me so others can feel.
But now go ahead and sleep dear Mother.
You done so much & now it my turn to show the world what you showed me.
With love, from love always
Your children
Written by Kaya 29.03.10
November top 10 playlist
This will be the last monthly playlist for a while. Simply to say I will be working on more personal blogs in the near future and working on getting myself back home. This list is simply my musical soundtrack as of late. Its helped me get though a lot of sad feelings so much that I would share it with you guys.
- Angelspit – Fink
- Armin van Buuren feat. Christian Burns – This Light Between Us
- Juno Reactor – Immaculate Cruxifiction
- Killswitch Engage – The End Of Heartache
- Geert Huinink & Sied van Riel – Minimal Symphony (Original Mix)
- SUICIDE ALI – Rebandyisyu Ringu
- Versailles ~PQ~ – The Umbrella of Glass
- Velvet Eden – 月蜘蛛 Nocturne (Tsuki Kumo no Nocturne)
- Gareth Emery Feat Roxanne Emery – Too Dark Tonight (Original Mix)
- Mike Saint-Jules pres. Saint X feat. Sandel – Fight On
Tiësto 27.11.10
On 20th November Tiesto grace his present once again in Chicago for a night that was clearly unforgettable. I have to mention the pure ignorance of some of people there who act like they never seen people of colour show up to a trance event. Seriously it doesn’t take a whole bunch of stupid “ghetto south side” jokes to make the time in the line faster, it just makes you look real “smart”. With that behind me, the wait for show didn’t seem that long and the lines were pretty short on all side of UIC pavilion by the time 6pm rolled around. Once inside they didn’t have to much to sell & only thing worth looking at was the big wall poster of Tiesto which I couldn’t get a very good picture of because everyone was flooding themselves around them so I skip that after looking around for a bit. Finally got to my seat which was a nice view from the stage but the funny thing was on my ticket I had both a seat and could be on the dance floor because they printed out my ticket so wrong. It matter I didn’t want to be down there anyway seeing how the crowd of dancers were filling up before the seats were.
I met three very cool friends from the Netherlands who were there at the show following Tiesto on the American part of the tour. How we all became good friends because I’m commented on Daantje’s tattoo of Tiesto’s name which was an autograph he got of his years before. The three of us quickly became good friends seeing that I was moving over there soon next year so we traded emails to keep in contact to the day comes. The show kicked off a little bit after 6 p.m starting off with an DJ I never heard of before but she was very good playing a lot of house and dance music until. DJ Gina Turner who hailed from New York spinned a lot of old house music, progressive and dance music mostly until the man of honour came on. I think of a lot of us where checking on him via his Twitter page because the row behind me and my new friends where screaming that he is almost here. Her set lasted about 2 and half hours before we started to notice the guys kept coming on the stage letting her know it was almost time for her go because she kept announcing how far Tiesto was from the pavilion.
Around 8:40pm the place was finally packed as Gina finally left the stage. The moment of the hour finally came when the light dimmed down as they played an ad for scan disk and finally the short 5 minutes movie of Tiesto. Shortly after he appear on stage as he was given the biggest standing ovation. Began to spin mostly remixes and his older stuff which was appreciated by the crowds as we sang to a few songs of his that had lyrics to. I think this was his best show out of three I saw in the past. A few of the songs he played I could remember:
Speed Rail
Escape Me
Kaleidoscope (opening)
Afrojack – Take over control
In the Dark
Obsession
Century
Louder Than Boom
After the show the four of us went down to Vision for the after party but that place was super packed and there was no way we were getting in there. So we went across over the Sound Bar and had a fun night there.
Next up is Armin van Buuren’s ASOT 500 party in Den Bosch on 9th April. I have my tickets already to go and I should be moved there by then. I consider this as an early b-day present to myself. Hopefully my schatje can go with me that is if he can tolerate some trance music hahaha.
Thank you to my new friends Marco, Daantje, & Mina. I hope to see you soon across the ocean soon. 
Let’s keep rocking!
There will be pictures of the event on my page soon once I get the gallery set up in the future.
Yeah I know the picture is bad its my phone :p deal with it lol
I am me
I’ve been inspired to write this from a good friend of mines, Carmilla , because she is awesome and inspiring all at once. You know for me being the person I am, 5’5, dark skinned, looks like a doll if not a scary goth child, weights over the limit that mainstream media would label me as “obese”, wears makeup, get my nails done, wear freakish contacts in my eyes, wears fake hair or extensions sometimes and even goes to the limit of dressing up weird that will catch attention from guys and girls because its something they never seen. I simply smile because that is who I am and very well happy with me. I dress goth, goth and lolita, EGL & EGA, cyber, VK, whatever I throw on for the day, but you shouldn’t defined me by the clothes I wear or the way I look. I am not a mainstream standard and will never conform to ideas of how a women should look. People my size are always challenged on how they should look and it makes us feel like they are right sometimes. Plus size people are often looked down on because the way media shows us as always eating, never taking care of ourselves, always out of breath with a few steps or my favourite one, where a person sits down it shows how something sinks really low and then they get up it springs up with a sigh of relief. You know I find it funny because not all of us are like that at all. Some of us live a healthy lifestyle and still can’t lose the weight, some of us exercise and take care of ourselves better than the next person and yet we still look down because you can’t understand the world does not evolve around thin people 24/7. Its just the way we are looked at without actually looking into the facts of the lives of plus sized people.
Wake up… we are no normal than anyone else.
We find our way to be beautiful in any aspect even if we are not accepted. Of course it makes us depressed, confused, trying to starve ourselves so we can look like 232398743874 million people in the world. I use to be that way, I tried everything to be thin, even consider plastic surgery to make me look thin. But really is it worth it all to be fully happy with a price? I can’t answer that question for everyone, but I know I wouldn’t have because it came with a price to look beautiful when I’m already there. Every person has something that is unique about themselves that stands out to bring their full beauty to come to life. Sometimes it take a little time and effort from us to show that quality and magnify tenfold.
I’m not going to worry about how someone feels about the way I look simply because I’m fat. I’m not going to sit here and make people think I’m bitter because I can’t never find something to wear and always mad because the clothes I would like t wear are for thinner people. I have accepted the fact I live in a world where people are ruled by media and I would sell their souls to look just like that girl or boy on TV. We always find ourselves idolizing someone we are not and try to find ways to make ourselves look like them. Its just not in American culture its in every culture around the world. Everyone wants to look like everyone else and not themselves. We were created to be different and if we can not be different what the was the point to making us all look different anyway? As they say imitation is the sincerest form a flattery but can we really say it a nice form of flattery? If I found someone dressing and acting like me as if they have no life and soul, I would find it weird. And yes I had people try to dress like me and act like me and I found it strange.
So what’s my point to my little story? There is none, I stop making points a long time ago because no one can never agree what is right or wrong. We are all beautiful and it takes time for us to understand that without going far to a price on it. Sometimes we need to stop looking towards the media outlet to define how beautiful we are. Because in the end you can not keep the beautiful youthful look forever, unless you’re really rich and vain like that to keep yourself looking that way, we all die in the end. So why waste your life spending it trying to be beautiful when are already are?
Just saying
K
Now a word from an idealist…
Its been a while since I actually post a real blog or tried to keep up with recording memories. I’ve been a tad busy as of late with planning & arranging my big move to the Netherlands for next year. My dream is slowly coming to life with each step I’m taking and working to make the progress even more better. I’m been helping out family since the death of my mother this year and working a little more to save the money for school so I can finish up my degree in business management so I can start on my art degree in photography. Everyone keep asking me the question “Why?”. My answer, why not.
I always felt I wanted to move somewhere and live my life to the dreams I always wanted to do. The Netherlands was chosen for that reason because it hold now a very special place in my heart. I have friends and someone who I can call my darling waiting for me. Not saying I don’t have friends here but when I first visit The Netherlands, it was nothing I thought from me studying up on the Dutch culture and little info here and there, but suddenly I fell in love and said to myself, “Yeah, this is…what I’ve been looking for.”
Tilburg is a lovely area of the Noord-Brabant providence where the city is literally a picture postcard town. The town itself is a warm, lovely & interesting sites to see. They have many festivals thought out the year, which none of them I have yet to attend, many lovely historical places and museums. Tilburg center is always lively during the weekends and weekday afternoon filled with people shopping and eating. It seem so surreal in a way that I fell in love more with the place even more. The people are really friendly and very helpful and I just knew this was the place for me to live.
As a continue on, the new year will bring a lot of favourable tidings to come.
September Top 10 playlist: Trance edition
This month is dedicated to some of my favourite Trance artist around. As of late I’ve been sway away from my usual aural listening pleasure back to when I did listen to a lot of dance and trance music. Most of these songs listed here are from listening to Armin’s State of Trance radio show and compilations cds. For the mean time check out Armin’s ASOT site for times to listen to his 2 hour show near you. ♥ These songs are not in any particular genre and most of these songs you can find on Itunes, CD Baby or CD Japan or any other place you buy. Please support the artist!
- Richard Durand Feat Christian Burns – Night & Day
- tyDi feat. Audrey Gallagher – Calling (Blake Jarrell Remix)
- Aly & Fila feat. Sue MCLaren – I Can Hear You (Beat Service Remix)
- Tiësto – Ten Seconds Before Sunrise
- Tiesto feat. Calvin Harris – Century
- Claudia Cazacu – Lekker
- Armin Van Buuren Feat. Sophie Ellis Bextor – Not Giving Up On Love
- Aly & Fila feat. Tiff Lacey – Paradise
- Mory Kante – Yeke Yeke (Mark Eteson Remake)
- Vast Vision feat. Fisher – Behind your Smile
Top 10 playlist for August 2010
A little late here. I’ve been sick and busy back to back for a little while. I’m feeling much better now hopefully I will be back to top health soon. Once again these songs are not in any particular genre and most of these songs you can find on Itunes, CD Baby or CD Japan or any other place you buy. Please support the artist!
- Armin Van Buuren - Imagine
- Tiësto - Forever Today
- Seileen – Mist
- SUICIDE ALI – Stitch DoLL
- Midnight’mare – Aphotic (DJ Woo-Doo Remix)
- Kaya – Pourriture noble
- Laputa – Treat your Fuck
- Jeffree Star – Get away with murder
- ParanoiD – 囚蝶 (The Caged Butterfly)
- Tiësto - Bend It Like You Don’t Care (Extended Version)
Top 10 playlist July 2010
So from now on I think will list down 10 songs I listen to the most on a monthly basis. There are not in any particular genre and most of these songs you can find on Itunes, CD Baby or CD Japan or any other place you buy. Please support the artist
Hello! Tea Time!
Tea drinking was first dated back as early 10th century B.C(B.C.E) in China, perhaps longer than the records show us from Chinese culture & history. The art of drinking tea is a favorite pastime in some cultures. In these tea drinking cultures people sit and enjoy tea’s savory aroma usually with a light snack or meal. The tea leaf itself has many properties and was used in medicines in Han Dynasty. Tea leaves when brewed can be used as a stimulant and has been universaly known to aid the immune system. The common name for tea leaf is Camellia sinensis and there are six types of plants that are use today however; out of the six different types tea plants only four of them are commonly known for drinking tea. The four types of drinking teas are, black, white, green, and oolong tea.
So what led me to write this a little blog? Well about a week ago in the newspaper I came across an article about making your own teabags with your favourite loose tea as a mother’s day gift and I thought to myself “Hey that’s a good idea.” However the way the article called for some supplies I didn’t like because the material for the tea bag wasn’t so good so I changed everything around to make it little better. So I gave it a try to experiment around with the loose teas I have to make the perfect tea as a gift to someone who enjoy tea drinking just like me. So I headed over the store to pick of the tools I needed for this project and most of them you can buy at craft store & supermarket.
Here’s what you need (this also depends on how many bags of tea you will make):
- Unbleached cheesecloth. Cheesecloth is better with the loose tea leaves/grounds because it can properly brew the tea. However you might have to buy two sleeves of cheesecloth for trial & error.
- Spool of strong threading. In the article it called for crafting string, but embroider floss might do the trick since it’s very strong and it’s thin enough to go around the cloth. You will cut this into 6 to 9 inch pieces.
- Scissors
- Construction paper or scrapbooking paper of any color. I used Scrapbooking paper because its thick unlike construction paper because once water hits it tends to curl and bleed and if not careful it rips easily. You can buy different colors to place at the end of the string to diffentance which tea is which or you can write the name on the tags too. In the article you can make a color code for which tea is which. It is up to you what you can do or use.
- Crafting punch outs like the ones you use in scrapbooking. Any shape will do.
- A small hole puncher
- A gift box big enough to fit the tea in.
- Markers/paint/whatever you like to design the box to your liking
- Loose tea of any kind. Loose tea can be brought at any store or health food store (i.e Whole Foods).
I should note here about loose tea because not all loose teas are the same. I can stress that enough. Each manufacturer is different in handling loose tea. You can find tea that is lightly grounded to whole dried tea leaves and they are all may not brew the same (i.e Japanese tea is good example). You might want to start with a good loose tea like earl grey or a British breakfast blend. Some loose are not meant to be brew in tea bag so look around at the directions for all loose teas before you buy because the results can be bad and yes I’m speaking from experience here.
Cut the cheesecloth into 3×3 inch squares, about the size of a sticky note, enough to put 1 tablespoon of loose tea in the middle of the cloth. Next you will place 1 well rounded tablespoon of loose tea in the middle of the cheesecloth and gather the ends to make circle shape bag. Now you will tie the pouch into double knot and do a little “drop test” to make sure the grounds will not fall out. After that you can place a tag at the other end of string & snip access off. Here you can write the name down of the tea inside the pouch. You can also make a card of the color code shapes to tell which tea is which. Either is find because I did both and they look nice. However you don’t have access to a computer and printer then writing them down is fine.
That is it! You just made your first bag, just repeat until you have the desired amount of bags.
Onward to the box…
I brought a few 5 1⁄2 x 2 3⁄4 x 1 3⁄4 gift boxes from Micheal’s craft store and made a few designs like stars, heart, leaf prints on and around the boxes to suit each person I knew and that’s it. You can design your box anyway you choose, its up to you.
I hope you found this blog inspiring. I will try to make pictures soon because I’m out of a digital camera now 
No thanks to someone in the family.
Credit for this blog because it would not be done without the help of these sites.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tea/
http://www.adagio.com/
Tea article posted on Chicago Sun Times by Susan Randstrom
